The first episode/my introduction. :)
What is Body Image?
Where do we get our ideas of what is beautiful?
I think that it’s easy to say from the media (TV, magazines, movies, etc…). That tends to be everyone’s default answer. Society does impact out ideas of beauty and what we think is beautiful/ugly, but I believe we sell ourselves short when we stick with cliches.
I think that we largely discount the impact of our environment. Every parent/guardian/important person in a person’s life, engrains in them ideas about food, exercise, and lifestyle. I see it very clearly in the difference between myself and my friends. Many of my friends had parents who (unintentionally and while meaning to help) gave them low self-esteem through negative feedback.
Many of these people thought they were doing their child a favor by pointing out their flaws. While I do believe in constructive criticism, it is the only way one can learn and grow, I don’t think that this is always done in a way that is constructive.
For instance: I have a friend who was a chubby child. Not fat, just chubby, which really isn’t that surprising, many children are. (It’s actually part of our survival coding, genetically.) This person had a parent who put them on a diet, because they didn’t want them to have weight issues their whole life. While this could have been constructive in a child that was reaching a certain age (i.e. growth spurts and puberty), the regiment began when the child was in grade school. Like, under 9 years old. Diet was all that was stressed, not exercise. The idea that this child needed to count calories and watch what they ate was ingrained in them. To this day they feel guilty if they feel they ate too many calories in a meal. (Up until here this has been an amalgamation of several friends. Begin specific example:) This is a person who regularly runs, has a large bone structure, and will never be a size 2. A 12 is probably a good size for them, maybe a 10. This person is as tall as me, or taller, and weighs about the same. They can run for an hour and barely be winded though. I’m not talking jog/walking (like what I cheat and do some days), I’m talking full on run. 3 miles minimum. Jogging the whole time. That is a person with high endurance who simply has a body that is built differently than the parent in question. They have a build more similar to their other parent, and that parent will also never be stick thin and lightweight. They are tall, muscular, and have large bone structures. They aren’t meant to be 90 lbs. The first parent didn’t see it that way though. This person has a beautiful, loving face, and they really are attractive physically as well. (Even if they don’t think so…) Due to this negative reinforcement though, all they see are numbers.
Do you see how this has had a lasting impact on that friend? So much so that they have told me about it, and I can repeat it back to you, dear internet? Their parent thought they were helping, but in the long run they have managed to make a child who has unhealthy (at times, they fight it hard) relationships with food and exercise. They cannot run less than 3 miles multiple times a week without feeling guilt for every ounce they may gain. They cannot eat above a certain amount of calories/products/certain types of foods, without feeling guilty about it.
Now, I am not saying my environment was always perfect, or that I don’t have my own issues with food and exercise. This is not to judge what these other families did or to say my upbringing was in any way, “better.”
As I said, truth is important. If your child/a person you care about is developing unhealthy habits, I think you should say something to them. It should be a discussion though, and constructive. Leaving a person with a repeating criticism in their brain that lasts years is not helpful, it’s hurtful.
You are all gorgeous and designed to look exactly as you do. You have a unique genetic code that decides what your eye color, hair color, height, weight, etc will be. Don’t knock that. It’s pretty intricate stuff. :)
